I don’t want to come off as sexist but it was obviously a hormone problem. It sounds harsh but someone should’ve gone over there and snatched a knot in his ass*. Nothing serious—just a little smartening up. I’m not suggesting a felony-level beating—just an open-handed wake-him-up. Something should have happened early to this Scaramucci if he was going to last. I concede he was spot-on about Steve Bannon, but Moochi was man-sterical.
Scaramucci couldn’t manage his emotions, and it was embarrassing. The vein on his waxy, botoxed forehead said, “I am one breath away from sharting myself.” Unbecoming. Someone had to check this guy before his sputtering prostate burst. Hormones.
Moochi needs more lycopene–like all men. Lycopene is known for it’s healthful support of a man’s delicate fruits, including the prostate gland. Lycopene offers potent antioxidant protection–and the Mooch appeared to be oxidizing hard. Lycopene is also linked to lowering stroke risk. (Scaraumucci = stroke candidate?). Lycopene is plentiful in cooked tomatoes.
Scaramucci obtusely (and for what reason?) cited the old Italian saying, “Fish stinks from the head down.” I suggest he cast the net southward and attend to his manopause symptoms before he starts that next job search–Calm Down Anthony.
I’ve come up with a delicious Lycopene-rich recipe that blends sweet summer tomatoes, ripe peppers and roasted garlic into a zesty pesto. Omit the hard cheese in the recipe and you have a vegan masterpiece. Keep the Parmesan and well, now it’s melty and salty and Savorbang-ish–better
Not a Burden
The roasting takes an hour, but whadda you care? Tomatoes quietly becoming brilliant–like Trans People–are not a burden. Think of this hour as an opportunity. Clean out your glove compartment. Write a thank you note. Pepper the comments sections of Nothing-Burger Mike Pence’s Facebook page with journal entries from 13-year-old girls about their First Moon Ceremonies.
Give yourself a Christmas present by roasting a ton of summer-ripe tomatoes and peppers and storing them in bundles in the freezer. They make a super-fast pasta sauce come winter when anemic, imported tomatoes surround us like enemies.
∗ “Somebody needs to go over there to that Senate and snatch a knot in their ass.” –Republican congressman Buddy Carter from (drumroll) Georgia, referring to female Senators blocking demolition of ACA.
Roasted Summer Tomato and Pepper Pesto
- 2 pounds ripe tomatoes (about 8 medium sized). Use any sweet, ripe type of tomato or an assortment.
- 2 ripe, sweet peppers like bell, cherry, or cubanelle. Seed and cut in half.
- 3/4 cup Marcona almonds
- 1/2 cup finely grated Parmesan cheese
- 1/2 cup extra virgin olive oil.
- 3-4 cloves garlic
- Salt and fresh-cracked black pepper to taste. BEFORE YOU SALT and after Parmesan has been added TASTE the pesto. Parmesan=salty.
- 2-3 tablespoons fresh lemon juice. (substitute orange juice and zest if using yucky winter tomatoes)
- 1 teaspoon lemon zest (orange in winter)
Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
Cut tomatoes in half.
Cut peppers in half and remove seeds.
Lightly oil a baking sheet. You can use parchment paper over the sheet but lightly oil the parchment.
Place 3-4 unpeeled cloves of garlic on the baking sheet OR place the whole bulb on there so you've got roasted garlic IN THE BANK!
Place sheet or sheets in the oven for one hour. Don't worry if the tomatoes etc. begin to char a little on the bottom. You want some blackened bits. It's easy enough to discard some of the blackened skins--but you want plenty of caramelizing.
If, after 30-40 minutes you are not seeing good browning and some blackening, crank your oven up to 400 degrees for the last 20 minutes or so.
Remove tomatoes and company from the oven and set aside to cool for a minute.
Place 3/4 cup Marcona almonds (Trader Joe's has these at a good price) in a food processor.
Add the 2-3 tablespoons lemon juice, 1/2 cup olive oil and 1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese. Blend until coarsely chopped.
Squeeze warm, yummy garlic mush out of 3-4 husks and into the food processor.
Add tomatoes and peppers to food processor. Blend until desired consistency. Sometimes I like pesto super-smooth but most of the time I prefer a little texture. Remember, you are ALWAYS the boss when cooking.
Taste the pesto. Add salt and pepper if needed.
I served my roasted tomato/pepper pesto over gnocchi and giant rigatoni. Delicious and well received.
Serve with a salad and you're all set.
Listen! This is a time for FANCY olive oil. With a simple recipe like this, taste and quality of olive oil will make a difference. Get a nice, green, first cold pressed oil like local, DaVero Olive Oil. Make a triple or quadruple batch of this pesto and freeze for complete joy in January when local produce consists of a bunch of stupid butternut squash and heirloom turnips.